Compared to Westerners and Europeans, Asians tend to be more closed-minded. Even speaking about sex is such a taboo. Seeing young parents, especially Mothers here, are somewhat frowned upon. Whereas i find it tends to be slightly more accepted in places out of Asia.
I wouldn't say i had a very traditional Asian upbringing. I mean i'm sure most of you have heard stories about how in Asian homes, children stay in their family home till they marry. As for me, i moved out of mine at 18. Anyways, what all this brings me to is that, i've been able to make my own decisions and live by them. Some were not so good decisions but as the saying goes, "If i could make my own bed, i jolly well better be able to lie in it".
Now that i am a mother, the decisions i make don't only matter to me but to this little girl, whom i owe my all to give her all the world has to offer. What really annoys me about living here in Singapore, is that people can be so bleedy vocal about their opinions! And i am not only talking about people whom i know personally! I've had the displeasure of meeting such people either in the streets, or in another 'hot-spot', the trains!
I don't need some random stranger to tell me HOW, I as a parent, SHOULD raise MY CHILD! People look at me and know that i am a young mother. But that does not give you any right to assume that i am not a good parent! I mean, if you're my family, friend or at least someone i know, i can learn to accept it a little more. But i total stranger?!
I remember having some lady tell me that i should not breastfeed my child because god knows what i eat and that may not be good for my daughter. How formula milk is SO MUCH BETTER. Hello, what century are you in? IT IS ENCOURAGED AROUND THE GLOBE THAT BREASTFEEDING IS HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!
Another was a older couple telling me how i should carry, burp and what soaps i should use for Kiara. Thanks, but i have my parents for that. All i'm saying is that AGE does not define being a good mother!! Back in the olden days, perhaps in our grandparents era, they married at what 15/16 years and had children shortly after! Now go ask your parents, were they good parents? Sure, some wouldn't have good things to say but the majority would reminise good times!
I KNOW that i AM a GOOD MOTHER. I read up and ask for advice when i do feel i need help. So don't come judging me because of my age. I didn't exactly have an easy life going up. I've overcomed many hurdles and setbacks. Endured alot of insults but that has made me the woman i am today. I'm strong and i will not let someone tell me how i should raise my child, espcially some random stranger!
I'm quite known to speak my mind. You hardly ever see me sugar coat things, so if you feel you find this urge to tell me how i should be doing things, or how i should change Kiara's diet plan, how i should put her in so and so pre-school, or even how i should sterilize all her toys and always wipe her hands when she touches something, don't be surprised if i give you a backlash!
I'm a young mom. But that also means, i'm more fiesty than you! :D
you;re a lovely mother. kiara is very much blessed :)
ReplyDeleteand i miss kiara's cute smile already!!!!♥
Thank you so much for posting this! I am a young woman about to be a mother for the first time in May and I already have been getting unsolicited advice from not only family but random strangers. There are times when I may not mind certain advice- I am a first-time mom and I know many of them are trying to help. But there are other times when it is certainly not needed. I did not ask for their opinion on xyz. (breastfeeding for example is often a hot topic!) but telling me that such and such will make me a bad mother is certainly not fair!
ReplyDeleteto be fair though - it doesn't matter how old you are, people will offer their opinions on how you should raise your child, what to feed them, how to discipline them, how good a job you are doing, etc,etc, etc. it seems like it just comes with the territory.
ReplyDeleteThank you Sarah! Kiara sens mini kisses to you. <3
ReplyDeletePink-Elephant: My pleasure! :D That's the thing about advice we get. Like i too said in my post, i'm more accepting it its from Family & Friends. But total stranger i come across in the trains, bus or even the streets annoys me. Breastfeeding is the one topic that gets me most mad. It's not like i'm breastfeedin them right? :P So why complain? Hehe.
mweni: True what you say. But trust me, i've gotten dirty stares when walking around with my child. Like why give me the dirty stare? I've heard my fair share of people conversing in mandarin (which i understand pretty well) about how i'm a young mother, and my child is doomed cuz maybe i can't offer her the best. I can sense when someone means well for me & my child. But im sure when someone is purposely looking down on you, you would know it too! I guess its part & parcel that comes with being a mom! Thanks for your input. :)