In the recent months, i've had a number of people ask me "You split up with your ex and you didn't tell me?! We're friends! So hurt i had to find out from Facebook?!"
I don't see how that is of importance to anyone but my closest family and friends. Even my Godfather - whom my close friends know is one of the most important man in my life - found out a month or so after!
I was not legally married, but we - the ex and i - shared 4 years together, had a baby, tried to build a home and eventually, it still turned sour and went down the drain.
THAT, was pretty much a marriage to me. I wasn't proud that my 'marriage' didn't work out. I wasn't proud that the whole myth of 'people who come from broken families make broken families' was some what true. I didn't feel the need to blast it to the world that my said 'marriage' has failed.
I find it somewhat shameless how some people think i owe them that bit of information. If i told you, great, if i didn't, don't sulk about it.
Let me put it this way; If you failed in a test, would you blast it to the world?
I stand by my reasons for leaving that relationship. I gave it my all, i tried my best so when it was time for me to walk away, i had no regrets. I feel, when you want to throw in the towel, always give it one last try. And that last try? Give it all you have. Least then, when you know you have given it your all, if it still fails, you know you tried.
I believe what i have done, is to give a better future to my little girl. I've never believed in the saying of - "Just stay for the kids. The kids need a happy home." Yes, i do believe children deserve a happy home. But coming from a broken family myself, i am thankful my mum decided to walk away from my father. Because if she decided to stay to give my brother and i a happy home? That would have been a toxic home. They fought like cats and dogs for many years after their split. You really think it would have been any better if she had stayed? Children need a happy, loving, nurturing environment to grow. And as a parent, i owe that to my child. I owe her some happiness. And I can still give her that.
I don't believe that i was 100% perfect in that relationship. My ex and i, we both have our faults. A partnership doesn't just break up due to one party alone. It takes two to tango, remember? I truly believe in the time spent together, we started to lose respect for one another and when respect is gone, everything will slowly deteriorate. Respect is the most important aspect in a relationship. Because if you can respect one another, you will have no problems to love one another.
This quote hit home for me - "They stay because they don't believe they deserve to be treated better, and the moment one truly believes they deserve better… they do what it takes to change their circumstances which may even mean…leaving because being treated badly becomes… intolerable."
Children grow to be happy people when they grow-up in a loving, happy environment. Just like children who grow up seeing their dad's hitting their mum's somehow feel it's somewhat normal if the same would happen to them in their older years. It is not normal. But children who grow up seeing their parent/parents in love, happy, doing things together, respecting each other, eventually grow up to want the same for themselves.
And i want nothing short of happiness for my little girl. When she's my age, i'm sure she would be inlove with a man (or woman, who knows?) and i hope her partner would love and respect her the way she should be. To adore her and grow with her.
We all want what's best for our children, but it begins with us.
Lead by example.
I don't see how that is of importance to anyone but my closest family and friends. Even my Godfather - whom my close friends know is one of the most important man in my life - found out a month or so after!
I was not legally married, but we - the ex and i - shared 4 years together, had a baby, tried to build a home and eventually, it still turned sour and went down the drain.
THAT, was pretty much a marriage to me. I wasn't proud that my 'marriage' didn't work out. I wasn't proud that the whole myth of 'people who come from broken families make broken families' was some what true. I didn't feel the need to blast it to the world that my said 'marriage' has failed.
I find it somewhat shameless how some people think i owe them that bit of information. If i told you, great, if i didn't, don't sulk about it.
Let me put it this way; If you failed in a test, would you blast it to the world?
I stand by my reasons for leaving that relationship. I gave it my all, i tried my best so when it was time for me to walk away, i had no regrets. I feel, when you want to throw in the towel, always give it one last try. And that last try? Give it all you have. Least then, when you know you have given it your all, if it still fails, you know you tried.
I believe what i have done, is to give a better future to my little girl. I've never believed in the saying of - "Just stay for the kids. The kids need a happy home." Yes, i do believe children deserve a happy home. But coming from a broken family myself, i am thankful my mum decided to walk away from my father. Because if she decided to stay to give my brother and i a happy home? That would have been a toxic home. They fought like cats and dogs for many years after their split. You really think it would have been any better if she had stayed? Children need a happy, loving, nurturing environment to grow. And as a parent, i owe that to my child. I owe her some happiness. And I can still give her that.
I don't believe that i was 100% perfect in that relationship. My ex and i, we both have our faults. A partnership doesn't just break up due to one party alone. It takes two to tango, remember? I truly believe in the time spent together, we started to lose respect for one another and when respect is gone, everything will slowly deteriorate. Respect is the most important aspect in a relationship. Because if you can respect one another, you will have no problems to love one another.
This quote hit home for me - "They stay because they don't believe they deserve to be treated better, and the moment one truly believes they deserve better… they do what it takes to change their circumstances which may even mean…leaving because being treated badly becomes… intolerable."
Children grow to be happy people when they grow-up in a loving, happy environment. Just like children who grow up seeing their dad's hitting their mum's somehow feel it's somewhat normal if the same would happen to them in their older years. It is not normal. But children who grow up seeing their parent/parents in love, happy, doing things together, respecting each other, eventually grow up to want the same for themselves.
And i want nothing short of happiness for my little girl. When she's my age, i'm sure she would be inlove with a man (or woman, who knows?) and i hope her partner would love and respect her the way she should be. To adore her and grow with her.
We all want what's best for our children, but it begins with us.
Lead by example.
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