Skip to main content

What defines a good Mother?

Compared to Westerners and Europeans, Asians tend to be more closed-minded. Even speaking about sex is such a taboo. Seeing young parents, especially Mothers here, are somewhat frowned upon. Whereas i find it tends to be slightly more accepted in places out of Asia.

I wouldn't say i had a very traditional Asian upbringing. I mean i'm sure most of you have heard stories about how in Asian homes, children stay in their family home till they marry. As for me, i moved out of mine at 18. Anyways, what all this brings me to is that, i've been able to make my own decisions and live by them. Some were not so good decisions but as the saying goes, "If i could make my own bed, i jolly well better be able to lie in it".

Now that i am a mother, the decisions i make don't only matter to me but to this little girl, whom i owe my all to give her all the world has to offer.  What really annoys me about living here in Singapore, is that people can be so bleedy vocal about their opinions! And i am not only talking about people whom i know personally! I've had the displeasure of meeting such people either in the streets, or in another 'hot-spot', the trains!

I don't need some random stranger to tell me HOW, I as a parent, SHOULD raise MY CHILD! People look at me and know that i am a young mother. But that does not give you any right to assume that i am not a good parent! I mean, if you're my family, friend or at least someone i know, i can learn to accept it a little more. But i total stranger?!

I remember having some lady tell me that i should not breastfeed my child because god knows what i eat and that may not be good for my daughter. How formula milk is SO MUCH BETTER. Hello, what century are you in? IT IS ENCOURAGED AROUND THE GLOBE THAT BREASTFEEDING IS HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

Another was a older couple telling me how i should carry, burp and what soaps i should use for Kiara. Thanks, but i have my parents for that. All i'm saying is that AGE does not define being a good mother!! Back in the olden days, perhaps in our grandparents era, they married at what 15/16 years and had children shortly after! Now go ask your parents, were they good parents? Sure, some wouldn't have good things to say but the majority would reminise good times! 

I KNOW that i AM a GOOD MOTHER. I read up and ask for advice when i do feel i need help. So don't come judging me because of my age. I didn't exactly have an easy life going up. I've overcomed many hurdles and setbacks. Endured alot of insults but that has made me the woman i am today. I'm strong and i will not let someone tell me how i should raise my child, espcially some random stranger!

I'm quite known to speak my mind. You hardly ever see me sugar coat things, so if you feel you find this urge to tell me how i should be doing things, or how i should change Kiara's diet plan, how i should put her in so and so pre-school, or even how i should sterilize all her toys and always wipe her hands when she touches something, don't be surprised if i give you a backlash!

I'm a young mom. But that also means, i'm more fiesty than you! :D

 

Comments

  1. you;re a lovely mother. kiara is very much blessed :)

    and i miss kiara's cute smile already!!!!♥

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you so much for posting this! I am a young woman about to be a mother for the first time in May and I already have been getting unsolicited advice from not only family but random strangers. There are times when I may not mind certain advice- I am a first-time mom and I know many of them are trying to help. But there are other times when it is certainly not needed. I did not ask for their opinion on xyz. (breastfeeding for example is often a hot topic!) but telling me that such and such will make me a bad mother is certainly not fair!

    ReplyDelete
  3. to be fair though - it doesn't matter how old you are, people will offer their opinions on how you should raise your child, what to feed them, how to discipline them, how good a job you are doing, etc,etc, etc. it seems like it just comes with the territory.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you Sarah! Kiara sens mini kisses to you. <3

    Pink-Elephant: My pleasure! :D That's the thing about advice we get. Like i too said in my post, i'm more accepting it its from Family & Friends. But total stranger i come across in the trains, bus or even the streets annoys me. Breastfeeding is the one topic that gets me most mad. It's not like i'm breastfeedin them right? :P So why complain? Hehe.

    mweni: True what you say. But trust me, i've gotten dirty stares when walking around with my child. Like why give me the dirty stare? I've heard my fair share of people conversing in mandarin (which i understand pretty well) about how i'm a young mother, and my child is doomed cuz maybe i can't offer her the best. I can sense when someone means well for me & my child. But im sure when someone is purposely looking down on you, you would know it too! I guess its part & parcel that comes with being a mom! Thanks for your input. :)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A baby brewing, again?!

I can't thank the people who have followed my blog from the get-go for all your words of encouragement and love. Thank you for pushing me to write again. It warms my heart to hear when my readers tell me they enjoyed reading my journey and somehow felt like they were right there with me too. Big love to you all.  Here i am sitting down and staring at the screen. I feel rusty. I haven't done this in a while. My last post was, well ages ago! But - hello! Seeing as i set up this baby blog of mine some 6 years ago, i felt it is only right that i continue writing in it seeing as, as most of you would know by now, i am baking baby number 2 in the oven! I'm in the last leg of my pregnancy now. I'd call it the 'uncomfortable' stage.  Where you feel like a whale,  your legs are sore,  your body's aching and the baby is kicking like there's no tomorrow.  But,  kicking is good.  Kick away baby,  so momma knows you're growing well.  So let's ...

New Paper New Face 2011

Hey! Today, i bring you news about this year's New Face competition! :) For those of you who don't live here in Singapore, the New Face competition is one of the biggest modeling competitions held here. It had unearthed beauties from all walks of life and many of whom has made quite a name for themselves in the industry. It has helped so many girls shine and achieve their goals, and i am glad to say, i made it to Top 20 last year and have graduated to the very prestigious alumni of New Face girls. :) Every year since i joined the modeling industry, i entered a competition, to better myself and gain confidence. I remember i started off with Singtel Grid Girls back in 2008 and not having much confidence at all. But the New Face competition was something i had wanted to join since the age of 15. It took me another 2 years, to build up that confidence to go to the walk-in auditions and i am glad i did. (Spot me if you can!) It has been such an amazing experience for me, i learned s...

Baby Recipe: Chicken & Carrot Porridge [Plus Storage Solutions]

This is probably one of Kiara's favourite dishes and i believe many asian kids too! It's easy peasy to make and tastes delish! What you'll need: Minced Chicken Diced Carrots Rice (Brown Rice if you want the healthier choice) Bovril (optional) Garlic (optional) Chicken Stock (optional)   For all the items that i stated as optional, it's really up to you which you would prefer. Some would rather skip bovril & garlic and just use chicken stock, where as some would do the opposite. So that part is really up to you how you would like your baby's food to be. I personally have used all 3 methods and Kiara likes them all the same. Step 1 : Add rice and carrots into a pot of boiling water (or boiling chicken stock). You can add  finely chopped garlic if you would prefer to add more flavour to the dish. I let this simmer in for about 15/20 minutes till the carrots are relatively softer. Plus rice takes a while to cook too! Once done, add in your minced chicken which cooks...